Above is a brief preview of some of my random tweets from yesterday evening. Although these tweets weren’t triggered by anything in particular (as in they were general thoughts), the fact still remains that it is 100% true.
We are only 5 months into the year; yet, as usual a lot has been learnt.
When you love someone (whether it be romantically, friendship wise, family wise etc.) unfortunately when they continuously do certain things, which you may feel are “out of character”, you may “allow them” (give them a pass), and keep on ignoring/overlooking things until it spirals out of control.
It obviously depends on the situation. It may even indeed be a case were the individual in question is having a bit of an off key moment. However, how long will this off key moment last? When exactly do you plan on addressing the issue and nipping things in the bud?
That being said, I was recently in a situation with a loved one. Previously, they were extremely caring, honest and genuinely came across as someone that had my back. Oh, how I was wrong! In the space of 5 months this person really proved to me that I in fact had no idea as to who they really were (I had actually known them for many years). However, because I was accustomed to this fairy-tale Disney image of them (that they had portrayed), it took me a long time to finally swallow the pill of truth and tell myself “Girl, this person is taking you for a mug. Stop ignoring your gut and know your worth!”
The thing is, I had spent the last few months continuously asking this individual what the issue was, as, as far as I was concerned, their character had changed. They had become very cold and selfish. Sometimes, even me expressing my concern for their sudden change of character, would result in them mocking me in a cold sarcastic tone, totally belittling my feelings/thoughts.
The question is, had this person actually changed, or was it just their true character being revealed? You know, there is an old school West African saying that I often hear:
“Personality is like pregnancy. There is nothing you can do in order to hide it”.
– This may sound a tad funny, but it is TRUE.
I’m not a fan of people who do not take ownership for the part they have played in certain situations. You know those people that blame everyone else for everything, yet things are never partially their fault? I know for a fact that although this person in question turned out to not be whom I thought they were, I was also partially to blame.
Looking back on the whole situation, all the signs were there but I just chose to ignore it and remind myself of how the person was like, prior to what I thought at the time was a “sudden change”. I think I just saw what I wanted to see, rather than face REALITY.
Although many people would describe me as a “strong” and “blunt” character, I do tend to see the best in people. Due to this, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, in hope that they will fix up. Only God knows how many times this train of thought has had me in such situations and has resulted to me “nipping things in the bud” and cutting people off, in the end (when the rubbish becomes too damn much!).
As I always say, I never regret ANYTHING. I am a firm believer of learning from EVERY situation. That being said, it is important to take on board what you have learnt and to NOT ALLOW such things to reoccur. It is pretty safe to say that this is the last time that I will foolishly ignore or overlook warning signs, especially when the good Lord went out of his way to give me oh so many!