A very short conversation I had today, had me wondering the following:
Why are women expected to continuously take a mans sh*t behaviour and disrespect in order to prove that we are “the one”, “ride or die” or that we “do not give up” on them”?
The ideology that in order to be a “fantastic girlfriend”, you must hang onto a man even when he is doing the most to push you away, does not sit well with me at all. In fact, I sincerely believe that this rubbish idea that a lot of men keep drilling into desperate “husband hunters” heads, is what has women thinking that in order to “keep a man” (because he is obviously a pet) you must take various unnecessary crap. This often results to women enduring things that they should not have to, with the false belief that it will be “worth it in the end”. These type of men, also use this to their advantage and repetitively keep on taking the p*ss because YOU will always be their doormat.
Once upon a time, I thought that staying with someone who was putting me through stress would prove that I am an extraordinary woman. I genuinely believed that this person would change, once they noticed that with all the stress that they were putting me through, I was still routing for them. At that time, I did not have the mind-set that I have right now. In fact, I can go as far as to say that I had not fully grasped my worth. To make matters worse, I was actually scared to lose this individual.
The person in question isn’t a bad person. I will never slag them off, however their belief, like many other guys out there, that a woman should prove herself by “not giving up” on them, when they are HEAVILY continuously overstepping the mark, is an issue that needs to be nipped in the bud.
Don’t read this post and get things twisted. I am not saying that during bad times in your relationship you should call it quits. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and how y’all work through the rough periods is what makes your relationship stronger. In my opinion, communication is key in EVERY relationship. However, what I am saying is that if someone you supposedly love/loves you keeps hurting you whether it be physically, mentally, verbally etc. do not succumb to this idea that you have to endure it. You DO NOT need to PROVE ANYTHING TO ANYONE.
To be very blunt, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Why are you here allowing your world to be crumbled by a guy that clearly does not give a f*ck about you? Furthermore you need to ask yourself this question, WHY ARE YOU ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE TREATED THIS WAY? People will treat you the way that you allow them to treat you.
I understand that with certain situations, things are “easier said than done”, but how I see it, the compatible guy for you won’t keep on attempting to increase your blood pressure.
YOU are worth it, because you know your worth. You ooze with self-confidence and you are not afraid to speak your mind, or let it be known what you will or will not accept. You are a great woman because YOU ARE YOURSELF. Being yourself makes you UNIQUE. You can be loving, caring, supportive, loyal, a freak in the sheets and all those good stuff BUT do not allow a man to forever crush your spirit, in order to prove that you are “wifey material”.
In short, say NO to those “Don’t give up on me” type of guys, after all they are doing you a favour by waving that red flag high, for you to see.
Boansi has spoken.