What’s good, my beautiful Kings & Queens? It’s safe to say that lately, I have slightly been neglecting the written aspect of my blog. Nevertheless, I woke up this morning with the urge to type up this post, before commencing with my day.
A lot has happened this year, as it does every year. To be honest, I would have been concerned if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred to me this year. I believe that life is all about learning via the multiple experiences that we are blessed with, whether good or bad.
One of the major themes this year for me, was/is self-love.
You see, all this while, I thought I was really about this self–love lifestyle. Please don’t get me wrong, I did love myself, but looking back on certain things that I allowed to happen, made me aware that I wasn’t fully at the self–love level that I needed to be on.
I believe that self–reflection is an important practise that each and every single individual on this planet needs to partake in from time to time. It allows you to gain clarity on certain things, learn about certain things (especially about yourself) but most importantly, it’s a time that you can use to be 100% honest with yourself and work out how to move forward.
With this being said, I have been self-reflecting on quite a few things over the past few weeks. This includes:
- My love life (or rather the lack of it!)
- So called “friendships”, between certain individuals and I.
- My goals (career & life)
- What type of life I want for myself.
The latter 2, I believe that with God guiding my footsteps, as I put in the work, I will be fine. I know I am heading towards the right direction. The former 2??
I was actually having this discussion with my girls the other day. Normally a lot of people don’t take partial responsibility for the failures of previous relationships or things not working out between people they were dating etc. However, I do. It recently hit me that although not everything that hasn’t worked out in this department is my fault, I did allow nonsense to occur from individuals whom to be honest with you, didn’t deserve a chance in the 1st place.
This probably sounds mean, but at this point I am beyond caring. I owe it to myself to be getting to know potential partners who actually fit a certain standard that I require. For whatever reason, I had been giving guys that don’t even fit basic necessities a chance, only for them to take the piss. IMAGINE!
Another way that I had been going wrong, was by doing what I feel a lot of women do: IGNORE WARNING SIGNS!
All the multiple red flags will be waving rapidly in my face, but I would still be giving the benefit of the doubt, because of feelings right?
I can now look back on these things and laugh, because I have taken the time out to understand how and why I was going wrong. I have also made a vow to myself to do better, and simply walk away when I can see that an individual is toxic and will add nothing but unnecessary stress to my life.
My circle of friends has always been small. However, there were a few people that claimed to be my friends but their actions this year alone, has proven otherwise. Without getting too deep into it, just like my love life, I now know to do better.
I have cut ties with individuals that clearly do not understand the meaning of loyalty and respect. Since doing so, my spirit has felt at ease.
Just like the title of this post states: I NOW PUT MYSELF 1ST. I shall not be entertaining individuals that bring nothing but stress & headache to my life. If you are not ready for my type of love, or friendship, IT IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY TO WAIT ON YOU OR BURN MYSELF OUT EMOTIONALLY IN HOPES THAT YOU WILL SOON FIX UP.
I love myself way too much now, to be settling for any type of riff raff. I deserve the best of things that life has to offer.