Lately, my love for reading has been reignited. I’ve been predominately focused on reading books about empowering the mind & body. Below is my current read:
This book covers various life & health issues that a black woman can face. It also offers important advice on various things such as the most reliable form of contraception, foods to eat when pregnant, how to overcome depression & things to eat in order to prevent certain illness. When ordering this book, I had no idea that it would help me realise that I had been lying to myself for a while.
There is a point in this book, when the author discusses letting go of previous hurt, and allowing yourself to attract what you rightly deserve. After reading this message, it hit me that I had been holding a grudge for over a year.
Denial: I had been professing to my friends that there were no ex’s of mine, that I had any ill feelings towards. However, anytime I’d see anything related to this ex from Love Lounge I found myself immediately irritated.
Realisation: I noticed that this was a problem when I started to mute or remove anyone who would share anything to do with him via social media. I also blocked him off of every social networking site, just in case he ever tried to reach out to me.
Although we can never be friends, the grudge I held towards him, was affecting my energy. I’m at a point in my life were I am all about positive energy and vibrations. In my eyes, allowing myself to get angry by the sight of his name meant that I was giving him power to do so.
Solution: No man is worthy of me holding a grudge towards him. Wasting your energy disliking/hating someone, does nothing towards that person. If anything, like a Nigerian would say “you are doing yourself!”
Physically, mentally, spiritually, I am at a great point in my life. So it was time to let go of this stupid hostility towards him. However, what I want to emphasize is that I did this IN MY OWN TIME AND OWN MY OWN TERMS. How I see it, holding this grudge towards an ex, is pointless. I claim to have moved on with my life, but how have I truly moved on if I am still dwelling on negative past experiences? It’s time to let all of that shit go, and accept the great things that the universe wants to offer me.
So what did I do?? I unblocked him off of social media and sent him a message via Instagram. I kept it short and sweet. I did not send him a message so that we could converse and become best buddies, but I simply wanted to let him know that I’ve let go of any hostility that I had towards him and that I wished him all the best. I also politely stated that his response wasn’t required.
After doing that, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. A sense of freedom overcame me. I no longer gave this individual the power or access to any of my emotions. I chose to do this in my own time (and through the help of this book). You see, sometimes the universe will give you the push that you require in various forms. This book happened to be my form.
Ladies, yes I know your ex probably hurt you. Indeed he probably is a prick who did not deserve you in the 1st place, however, you’re blessed to no longer have such person in your life. Focus on bettering yourself, and being the best version of yourself that you possibly can be. Forgive in your own time, and hold no hostility towards folks who did you a favour by hurting you, so that you can allow room for better.
You are the boss of your own world, don’t allow anyone to have you f**ked up for too long baby girl.