There comes many moments in life when you feel ecstatic about a certain goal you plan to execute. You excitedly inform your friend/loved one about your steps, waiting for them to be as happy for you as you are for yourself.
NA WA O, come and see enemy of progress!
A few months ago, I was taken aback when I informed a mate of mine about my desires to resign from my job. I discussed the reasons as to why I wanted to do so, and briefly explained my next steps. As far as I was concerned I had let go of all of my fears, and was ready to truly take control of my life and go for whatever my heart desired.
Rather than receiving words of encouragement & reassurance from my mate, I was instead bombarded by negativity. I kept on replaying the conversation in my head. I didn’t take it to heart, but I decided to cut the conversation short, and told myself that I would no longer inform this mate of my future ambitions.
After pondering on the reasons as to why I received such a reaction, it hit me:
INSECURITIES & FEAR
We all have forms of insecurities and fears. Some are more severe than others. However, some people whether knowingly or unknowingly, project their insecurities/fears onto others. Due to them being unable to do what you are freely able to do, they end up attempting to prevent you from doing so.
Sometimes, it may appear as though these people have your best interests at heart. They start telling you to be “realistic”, “that isn’t going to work”, “what about…” before proceeding to list 101 things that can go wrong with your decision.
Learn to differentiate a friend or loved one who genuinely seems to be concerned about your well being, from someone who continuously projects their fears onto you. If you always confide in this particular person, and they always spew negativity, that is all you need to cease providing them with your personal business.
Generally speaking, I rarely discuss in depth my personal goals. Sometimes I may give a general overview and leave it at that. So long as I KNOW that I have thought things through and feel that I have come to the best cause of action, others approval isn’t necessary.
Sometimes we also forget that we do not know how someone truly feels about their life. It could be that you may be continuously confiding in someone who doesn’t know themselves, or who isn’t sure which direction they want to steer their life. Due to this, they may also want you to be residing in the same level of confusion as them. Be careful with who you confide in. Not everyone has the same heart or mind-set as you. Focus on flourishing how you want to, when you want to, and stop listening to the basic folk who keep on telling you to be “realistic”. Keep freely thinking outside of the norm and speaking/working into existence your desires.
Ignore folks who keep projecting their insecurities/fears onto you.