A woman comes across a man. This man is handsome, can hold a decent conversation and also has a good sense of humour. This woman can’t believe how lucky she has been to come across such a guy.


After a few conversations, she is already envisioning how their future household will look like.  A big house in the countryside, greenery, 4 kids and maybe a small dog called Tootsey.  Finally, she has met her future husband.




Although the conversations seem to be good, and the energy seems to be like something worth exploring, there is a slight issue. No date has occurred, nor has it been mentioned.


At this point, the woman has really romanticized the current situation at hand. In her mind, this guy is really into her, or he wouldn’t be contacting her (or returning her calls/texts). She ends up summoning the courage to directly ask, “So, when are we going to go on a date?”


This man responds with “maybe next week”.











She doesn’t continue pressing the matter as of course; she doesn’t want to scare this handsome guy away. I mean, with him being the only handsome man on the planet that is able to converse with her, why on earth would she want to do that? Although she feels some type of way about this man not being decisive or enthusiastic enough to give her a specific date and time to meet up with her, at least he has given her hope that maybe next week ay!

These 2 continue conversing here and there. Next week arrives and this man has not mentioned a thing about their supposed upcoming date. She again brings it up, and again he responds with maybe next week.


The only reason why a woman would entertain a guy like this is because she has low self-esteem. Women with this issue believe that they can’t do better than to take whatever comes their way. She doesn’t understand her value and worth and so she settles with this mediocrity of a man, who clearly has zero intentions of taking her out on a date or even taking her seriously as an individual. To be honest, in a situation like this, I’d assume that whenever he can actually be bothered to meet up with her, it would be in an attempt to just get into her panties, nothing more, nothing less.


A woman that knows her worth, understands that yes we all have busy schedules, however, maybe next week, is an unacceptable answer. An appropriate answer would have been something along the lines of “Let’s do next week, when are you free?” or “I’m busy this week, but I can do (insert whatever days can be done here), which one works best for you?” Both examples show that this man is interested and wants to be in your company. It also shows that he is willing to work alongside your schedule (compromise).


What many women chose to ignore, is that if a man is into you, his actions will show so. It does not matter how busy a man is, if he wants to see you, he will MAKE TIME FOR YOU. You will not need to keep repeating yourself or beg him. Remaining silent when fully knowing that this man is bullshitting you is not going to make you seem more wifey material. It makes it as clear as day that you have no confidence within yourself, and so that is why you are putting up with a man that isn’t even trying to make an effort. Contrary to what most of us women have been taught to believe; men actually appreciate a woman with a backbone.


So sisters, please, when you come across men that show you from the jump that they aren’t into you, stop wasting your own time and start taking on other applicants.







  1. Love it. Though I’m married now, I look back and totally agree with all of what you wrote. I found that the “maybe” guys were definitely not worth my time. To be completely honest, I dated a non-black guy ever so briefly are realized that he definitely was playing into a belief that black women were a certain type of way. We did not make it past a few hours. I have no patience for people who cling to stereotypes. Looking back, I’m glad that I did not compromise what I wanted. Though no man is perfect, you have to know when to say “when” and kept it movin’.

    1. Awww congrats on your union. I am happy to hear that you did not compromise on what you wanted. I feel like so many women compromise and then end up settling for someone who doesn’t add to their happiness.

      1. Yep, he’s not perfect so wasn’t everything on the list, but hey, no one’s perfect, neither am I. I dated a few toads though lol.

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